Bush Must Convert to Judaism
    President George W. Bush was given 90 days by the Congress to convert to Judaism or some other religion that mandates rapid burial. This follows the excruciating long funeral of our beloved former President Ronald Reagan and the current equally as long funeral of the bumbling former President Gerald Ford.
Funeral Services Get Out of Hand
    "These services are really getting out of hand," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "I mean what did this guy do? He was just President for God's sake. And he wasn't even elected to boot!" she exclaimed.
    "They're sucking up all the oxygen in the room and making it difficult for the rest of us Congressional blow hards to get air time. Why I could even get attention paid to my Congressional pay increase bill," she continued. "Before, that would be front page, above the fold kind of stuff. Now it's below the fold at best usually amongst a lot of pictures of a dead man. Funerals, funerals, funerals. Enough already," she said sounding exasperated. She added, "It's about time Congress put an end to this non-sense."

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Copyright Paradocs Productions 2006. All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Ralph Williams at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

    Business as usual in the nation's capitol came to a screeching halt when loud thoughts were heard in the Raeburn Senate office building. Initial reports were unclear as to the origin of the loud thoughts. Some thought they heard them on level three of the underground parking garage while others thought they heard them coming from the Intelligence Committee hearing room where a meeting was in session.

    Witnesses said the loud thoughts sounded like gunfire. "It was like a loud bang. You know, like a 'drive by' or something," said Loquisha James. "I just gots myself outta there," she added.

    Capitol police immediately sealed off the Raeburn Building along with the Capitol. Later, after holding a news conference, they re-opened the Capitol. "We've re-opened the Capitol Building. There weren't any thoughts there. It is safe. But we continue to search the Raeburn Building," said Police Chief Sharon Stephens. "Since 9/11, we take any report of loud thoughts very seriously. We have a protocol we put into effect immediately. We investigate all reports," she excitedly added.

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Posted by Ralph Williams at 1:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)