Congress Tells Bush to Convert
President George W. Bush was given 90 days by the Congress to convert to Judaism or some other religion that mandates rapid burial. This follows the excruciating long funeral of our beloved former President Ronald Reagan and the current equally as long funeral of the bumbling former President Gerald Ford.
Funeral Services Get Out of Hand
"These services are really getting out of hand," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "I mean what did this guy do? He was just President for God's sake. And he wasn't even elected to boot!" she exclaimed.
"They're sucking up all the oxygen in the room and making it difficult for the rest of us Congressional blow hards to get air time. Why I could even get attention paid to my Congressional pay increase bill," she continued. "Before, that would be front page, above the fold kind of stuff. Now it's below the fold at best usually amongst a lot of pictures of a dead man. Funerals, funerals, funerals. Enough already," she said sounding exasperated. She added, "It's about time Congress put an end to this non-sense."
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