Residents Set Apartment Complex on Fire
     Mayor Michael Bloomberg immediately ordered the elimination of all barbeques from the city yesterday after residents set a high rise apartment building on fire while trying to light a Weber Grill. At approximately 2PM yesterday, Cory Lidle and his life partner accidently set the 56 story apartment building on fire after attempting to light the grill with a drone single engine plane crashing into their apartment. They denied vociferously that this was a stunt for "Jackass 3" the movie.

 

Rich White People Stunned 

    Westside residents, many of whom live in gratuitously expensive high rise apartments themselves were stunned that this could happen in their neighborhood. "We have strict association rules that prevent these stupid barbeques. They shouldn't have been doing it," said an elderly white woman. In their defense, Lidle and his partner countered that they had to resort to this technique because they did not have a balcony. "It's either give us a balcony or we'll do it again," he said.

 

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