Scientists Discover Hidden Messages
    Just two weeks after the administration introduced it's "Teach America Math Program" to the citizenry, angry scientists accused the government of using the program to send coded messages to alien spies.
    In a pronouncement immediately denounced by the Whitehouse as pure fiction, the scientists said that they have unequivocal proof that recent shortfalls in CIA recruitment of agents  have been met with recruitment of space aliens. They charge that the CIA has used the newly introduced  "Teach America Math Program" to send messages to its newest agents who, like many Americans and the President, can not read.

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BrainFleas Introduces "Closed Captioning"

    Always a leader in new technologies, BrainFleas now introduces Closed CaptioningTM for our impaired readers. This technology, widely available on television for many years for the hearing impaired, has been adapted for use on the web by scientists at BrainFleas Laboratories.
    Dr. August Von Stuepnagel leader of the team that developed the technology said that "this is a great advance in the useability of the web. Before closed captioning, our impaired readers were really left just sitting around ... well ...impaired. They just couldn't get it up. Now they can join with the rest of us around the globe enjoying the vissicitudes of reading sites like BrainFleas.com."
    Closed CaptioningTM works by taking ordinary text on the web and making it readable for impaired readers regardless of their impairment. This includes alcohol or drug use. College students, already rapid adaptors of new technologies are seen as obvious targets of this technology.

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