Iraq Study Groups Fails Midterms, Drops Out of Continuation High School
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Geography Exam Final Straw
The Iraq Study Group, set up by President George Bush to advise him of options dealing with Iraq, has flunked out of school. "We did not flunk out, we merely withdrew," said Richard Pearle a leading hawk on starting the Iraq War. "Besides, what if we did flunk out? It doesn't mean we can't still give advice to the President. We have his ear you know. And withdrawals are what it's all about these days. Think of this as an strategic advance not a retreat," he added.
Lowest Score on Exam, Confused Iraq with Iran
According to the group's geography teacher, Mr. Uzbecknotistan, they
scored the lowest point total ever in the course. "These guys even
mixed up Iran and Iraq. I realize that they're our country's advisors
to the President but we don't give any partial credit in my classroom.
If you can't tell one country from another, you flunk! They not only
thought that the two countries were the same, they thought they were
located in the Saudi Arabian peninsula. Jesus, what's next? Screwing up
the "stans". I'd like to see where they think Tajikistan is located,"
he said laughing.
Dean Says Special Circumstances May Apply
Dean Mesa Potamian, however, said that he is considering an appeal from the
White House. According to school bylaws, in special circumstances, the
Dean may reinstate a failing student or group. "I'm looking at it. We
made need to educate them especially if they give the President advice.
I mean, can you imagine if they mixed up Iran and Iraq and told the
President to invade Iraq instead of Iran? Where would we be then?" he
said. "I'm looking into it. I didn't say I was granting an absolution.
Only the President of the College, Scooter Libby, can do that."
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