Bush Excommunicates Libby
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Excessive Commute
Citing what he said was an excessive commute, President Bush today excommunicated Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Bush left intact some of Libby's penance saying that it was sufficient punishment for such a loyal servant.
Bush Met with Pope
Reporters from Foxx and other news organizations pressed presidential press secretary Tawny Snow for clarification. He stated that the President had met with the Pope and, after kissing his ring, asked for help with the Iraq war. The Pope declined.
Bush as Decider
"The President is the decider and what he decides is inscrutable. 
The President decides and he is the decider" said Snow. "When the President was told that Libby had legal problems and needed to have a pardon, Bush decided to excommunicate him instead.
"They told me he had a long commute so I dealt with it," he said in the Rose Garden. "I think we should look after our servants. They tell me Libby was one of the best at carrying water and that goes along way for someone like me who is from Texas." Reporters were left confused.
Bush Mum on Annulment
The excommunication comes on the day that Libby was to surrender himself to Federal Marshals and begin his 2 1/2 year term. It is unclear if he will also have his marriage annulled by the President. On that subject, the President said that he would wait and see what happens after Libby has a shorter commute.
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