Disney Studios in a rare streak of true corporate citizenship has joined the effort to find Osama Bin Forgotten. With the launch today of a new ride at Disney World in Orlando Florida and Disneyland Resort in Anaheim California, Disney joins the legions of outraged participants in the political game of yelling "Where's Osama?" at President Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair.
     Nearly as stupid as Bush's declaration of "Mission Accomplished" over 950 days ago, Bush's taunting of Bin Laden as "Public Enemy One" only seemed to embolden the leader. Innumerable terrorist attacks have occurred and the US now faces a humiliating defeat in Iraq.

New Submarine Game
     Still all is not lost. Disney believes that Bin Laden may have taken the low road and is employing a submarine to escape the land locked country of Iraq. Indeed, as Disney envisions it in its newest theme park ride, 'Finding Bin Laden', Bin Laden is trapped in the body of a run away goldfish without his dialysis machine and fears for his life.

     Salvation comes in the form of a Russian submarine captain played by Sean Connery and his love target Anne Archer. After a prolonged trist in the bunks and a go at Jeopardy, Captain Connery rights his ship, opens the hatch for the tiny fish to enter, rescues it from being eaten by a shark and fillets the goldfish to reveal the by now shrunken Bin Laden.
     Using water to expand him, the evil Captain revives Bin Laden and uses him and $1 billion dollars to take over the world (until the next sequel).

C.I.A. Game Board Helps Locate Bin Laden
    The CIA, not to be outdone, is also trying to get the public involved. It has developed a game board showing the most likely hiding places for Bin Laden. The public is asked to look it over and call the CIA should they locate him at 800 555-1212.

Copyright Paradocs Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved.

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Acne, Impetigo, or Scrofula?

      Scared prison officials immediately released famed inmate Paris Hilton from jail to her parent's house after she developed a lesion on her lip overnight. Officially she is "reassigned" to house arrest, is required to wear a tracking ankle bracelet and is not to leave more than 3000 feet from her parent's posh Beverly Hills mansion.

      Prison officials were alerted to the medical development by her famed attorney. She was whisked away from solitary detention where she was no risk to other inmates late last evening under the cover of darkness to home.

There's More. Click here. "Paris Breaks Out" »

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Two Day Marathon Longest

      It seems that Paris Hilton has skills other than her much admired lingual talents. She has now set a record for the most number of days spent in jail by a Hollywood do nothing.

      By completing her second night in lock down at Century Regional Detention Facility, she brought the total number of nights in jail she has served to 2. According to Ms. Hilton though that is actually equivalent to 2 days*. This means she has broken records held by Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love. The previous record holders were unavailable for comment.

There's More. Click here. "Paris Sets Record" »

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New York, New York

Confusing Los Angeles with New York City, Paris Hilton tried to check into the Twin Towers last evening only to discover they had been destroyed by terrorists. "This is unbelievable! It's just a big hole in the ground. I mean, where am I supposed to sleep?"

There's More. Click here. "Paris Is Burning" »

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