2.6 Million Run For The Border
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In the largest mass migration in history, over 2.6 million Mexicans crossed the border today carrying chickens, children, backpacks and Mexican flags. Some were driving modified 1962 Chevrolet Impalas decorated with dingle balls, moon wheels, air shocks, subflooring florescent lighting, chrome tailpipes and cholo detectors.
The event, an annual one sponsored by Taco Bell, drew its largest crowd in 5 years. Altogether, over 20 million Mexicans have crossed over into California in these events held each May 1st. Taco Bell offered free tacos to the first 3 million to reach downtown LA.
The "Run for the Border" ad campaign by Taco Bell has drawn increasing criticism from public health officials. "This is a bad nutrition message to give to new migrants. It tells them that after a long run they should eat Taco Bell. No one should ever eat Taco Bell 'food'. Look what they have for a mascot -- a chiquaqua for God's sake!", said Dr. Ralph Bones of the LA Department of Health. Taco Bell immediately denied using dog meat in its tacos.
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"We've got to get in before Bob Vila builds his Craftsman style wall," said one migrant. The hardest hit areas were San Ysidro and Jaurez where swamped Border Patrol agents could do nothing but watch. President Bush called the crossing an "invasion" while illegal immigrant rights workers called it a taking back of Mexican land. "We will eventually take back our lands from the gringos," said Blanca Cabessa. "We were here first and they stole it from us. We are going to put a Mexican in the Whitehouse. Then you see some fun!" she continued.
"Yeah we're going to be flying the Mexican flag over the Whitehouse, the south lawn will be full of cars, we'll be barbecuing chickens on the portico and listening to Los Lobos. We'll teach America how to live!" said her sister Poquito. Laughing heartily she added, "We might even invite some cholos. Viva la Raza. A chicken for America's state bird!"
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