Betting Priests Blamed for Sister's Steroids Abuse
Stanozolol Found in Raid of Convent
In an early morning raid of an apartment on the out skirts of Mogadishu, rival factions of tribes from the nuns of Dover Cliffs and Perpetual Motion looted clothing, toiletries, liquor, drugs, drug paraphenalia and reportedly large caches of the illegal steroid stanozolol. Sister Allah Fatah of the Sisters of Athena denounced the accusation and said that the apartment was a house of prostitution that the nuns were trying to rehabilitate.
Just a Misunderstanding
"Many of the nuns having been working side by side with the girls so that they can better understand what it is like to work for such wages. In addition, they are trying to discover what it is like to live in a drug induced state for hours on end and to dress in enticing clothing for men. This is often mistaken for prostitution but it is actually under cover work," Fatah said. "They have to keep their strength up so they take stanozolol. This in no way had an influence on our recent victory on the Horns of Africa." she added.
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Meanwhile, in Cheshire by the Sea north of Dublin, MI6 broke up a large underground waging ring worth 1.6 bil pounds (UK) annual that was handling internet wagering on the outcome of the Horn of Africa conflict. According to Constable Constance Lee Early, there is evidence that the ring may have been supplying stanozolol to the contestants in an attempt to influence the outcome. "We're looking into it. Some of the teams looked more like men than Ryan Seacrest for God's sake," she said.
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