Someone Drops Out of 2008 Race for President
Drops Out After Only Two Months
On Friday, February 23rd, the First Presidential contender for the 2008 race dropped out of the crowed Democratic field field. This leaves only seven left in the race. Barack Obama, currently the hottest of the candidates, immediately wished him well. "I will miss him. We had a lot of fun sharing a bus together, telling jokes to each other, sharing campaign intelligence and laughing at the faux pas of the other candidates. We grew very close over the last two months. I will really miss his humor" he said sadly.
Clinton Moves Into Second Place
Probably the candidate that benefits the most from his decision to exit the race is Hiliary Clinton. Although a formidable campaigner one on one, she has had a rough time delivering her message in bulk despite her regional strength based on her husband's exposure as the Arkansas govenor. "Although I will miss him and his humor, I don't think it will play a significant role long term. He had some local strength based on his Iowa roots but I don't think that it would have translated to New Hampshire and beyond."
Only Polling 3% in Iowa
The most recent polls showed him polling about 3% placing him in 4th place in the Iowa caucuses but he was gaining rapidly on third place perpetual anti war candidate Dennis Kucinich of Ohio. He was taking mind share away from Clinton. This should help Clinton gain on Obama and tighten the race. As for Kucinich he had little to say. "Actually, I didn't know the guy much. I didn't know who he was, couldn't spell his name correctly and, like most Americans, couldn't recognize him from an FBI most wanted poster!"
Kinder Words From Other Candidates
Other candidates had kinder words. Biden from Delaware said "He grows on you. Kind of like the moss on the shady side of a stone." Gravel from Alaska said "He's a tall drink of water and that is a measure of a man where I come from. Very solid citizen. Solid handshake and a decent family man from what I hear." Richardson of New Mexico said "Out west where I'm from we measure a man by the shadow he casts. He cast a shadow over all of us." Dodd of Connecticut said nothing. "I didn't know him. I don't think I ever want to know him." Edwards said "He was a class act. Tall, unassuming, a real charmer with the ladies. We used to go out drinking, bang a few back. I would introduce him to some ladies to set him up since he was single but he was always focused on his campaign. I wish him well in his law career."
Resuming Career in Finance
The candidate, a short man and former Governor of Iowa, a devote mormon born and raised in Salt Lake City, married with six children, suffered a catastopic amputation of his right arm during the Vietnam War, was known for his lack of humor, plans to continue his career with Kolberg, Kravis and Roberts in private equity banking.
Copyright Paradocs Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved. |
Daughter in tow, Britney enters the glass double doors of the Grey Hospital
I'm not going there.
Oh, yes you are.
I am not.
Yes you are! Stop being a brat! Now get in here now!
I not going in there.
Yes you are.
I'm going to leave.
I don't care what you do. You're going in there now! Now get in there or I'll kick your ass in there.
Don't use that language on me.
Then get your ass in there.
Mom, please.
You had your chance, get in there.
Please?
Get in there.
Hello Ms. Spears How are you today?
Fuck you.
Did you how trouble getting here?
Didn't you hear me the first time? I said fuck you!
Welcome to Grey Hospital. We hope stay is a productive one. Here is your room. The TV is over there. It has digital cable and gets over 250 channels. The bed is the uses the patented Sleep Comfort System and our food is prepared by the reknowned chef Stefan Sartan.
What the fuck do I care? I'm leaving tomorrow.
Well, we hope you'll stay longer. If we can do anything for you, we will be at the nurses station. You can ring us with this buzzer. Dr. Kinder will be right in to do our intake.
I can hardly wait.
Mom get out of here.
...
What's that? Where am I? Huh? God. What the fuck is going on? Am I seeing things? No. no that's the wall. But that looks too small. What's happening to me? Oh shit. I hit my head. God. What's happening to me. Look, I've shrunk! Who is that? I recognize her. Oh it's that old lady from that TV show. Oh, what the fuck's the name...oh yeh Desperate Partners...no, no, Housewives...no, no, Grey...yeah, yeah..that's it...Grey's House...why's she on the phone? who's she talking to? she's dead! she's old, old and dead!
Hey you. You at the door. Help me. Please. Oh don't run away. Help me please. Please. Please come back...
...
...
