Greek Nuns Use Unorthodox Rear Approach to Surmount Muslims in Somalia
Stunning the otherwise staid world of the noviciate, the Greek Orthodox nuns, led by Sister Allah Fatah of the Sisters of Athena, raced across the infertile and barren dessert sand of vegase to Mogadishu, where they pillaged, and plundered the town from the rear. Then, in a tour d'force, they surmounted the flailing body of the darkened Islamic forces, entering one last time from the rear in a final insult, thrusting open the very tender glutei and disemboweled it. The results were horrific to imagine even for the most seasoned of African League veterans.
Left No Doubt Behind
"I wanted no doubt left behind that my girls, Gwen in particular, were every bit as much men as they fought. Though heavy a heart, they charged light a foot, moving as a single brigade up the bowels of the enemy, took him from behind as it were, and left him used and wasted, just as the men do unto others," said the vociferous and often rancorous Sister Fatah. "We, the Greek nuns, the Orthodox Church's Best, have shown ourselves worthy of heaving today. We butted heads with the nuns from Dover Shores and found them wanting. We clashed with the cavalry and artillery of the Sisters of Perpetual Motion and stopped them cold. We beat the Muslims until they were black. I tell you, we've got hair on our chest, voices like Shrek, and muscles like Barry Bonds. We've got game. Let's see what ya' got!" she yelled at the gathering in a husky, bellicose voice.
Use of Steroids by Nuns Banned
The Roman Catholics had previously filed a protest over the use of AC140 Wart Hogs by the US Government, the use of Ethiopian troops, the use of anabolics by the Greeks and other violations in the Riskiest part of the conquest. The planned to file another protest today according to leaked reports. According to the rules of War, you are only able to use artillery, cavalry, infantry, cards and dice to play. It is very Risky.
No Periods.
"At the rate their going, their next period will be when Bush starts telling the truth," said Sister Donald Mary, the representative of the Vatican led Roman Catholic nuns. "There blowing more 'rhoids up their [deleted] than a Balco train master doing [deleted]. They're getting ugggly! I mean did you see those thighs?" she added. "These things are banned for a reason. Can you imagine a bunch of couped up, sex deprived, emotionally disturbed, white girls, shotting up 'rhoids for months at a time? Hello? It'll make 'Caged Heat' look like Dorothy Goes to Disneyland and a prison riot breaks out for God's sake," she said.
Anglicans Lose All the Angles
Meanwhile, with the loss, the nuns of Dover Shores were mathematically eliminated from the final wild card spot. This effectively ended their season. Rory Peters, a woman and headquarter master for the nuns, said that it had been a tough season for the girls. "We had a bit of a jam very early on, what with the Roman conquering Europe and making a run at Constantinople. "The Greeks didn't even hold home base or show us any of the "rear action" their so famous for. We had to settle for a little T&A action from Thomas and Anderson on the sidelines. That was about it. We'll be back." The Mores were eliminated earlier.
Madagasgar Next
The next battle takes place over Madagascar. The Roman Catholics will attack with numerous artillery and cavalry pieces from the heart of darkness in the Congo. The Greeks from their new base in the East of Africa and the Anglicans from South Africa. This is the deciding round with the Roman Catholics heavily favored to take the island and then sweep the remaining pieces from the continent in a "round-up operation". This should then position them well to garner the top prize of two additional pieces per round at the United Nations.
Copyright Paradocs Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved. |
