Bush Secretly Plans Iraq Invasion
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Over Rules Top Advisors
Brainfleas has learned today from secret sources close to the President that he plans to order within days an invasion of Iraq. This invasion comes over the advice of his most senior advisors who recommended that he invade the other country in the region spelled Iran not Iraq. Believing that the President has confused the two, they have been desperately calling for immediate top level meetings with the Dick Cheney and Her Rumpsfeld. However neither seem to be available.
"Hunting" in Maryland
According to these same sources, both the Dick Cheney and Her Rumpsfeld are currently holed up "hunting" on Cheney's farm on Coastal Maryland shooting near dead and helpless birds and are unreachable. This leaves the Bush on his own.
Presidential Confusion over Iran and Iraq
In the past he has confused the two countries landing in Iran when he tried to make a surprise trip to the troops. At the time, when asked about the President's apparent confusion between Iraq and Iran, Presidential spokesperson and Foxx anchorman Tawny Snow said "He is not confused. He always intended to invade Iran. It's just that things got lost in translation."
Continued below...
Iraq Running Out of Soylent Green
The President's decision also is more startling in that it comes at a time when Iraq is reportedly running out of supplies of soylent green. Iraq has already charged and the US has already denied that the US has invaded its country with over 130,000 troops and is conducting a war. To launch an invasion at this time would only seem to increase the casualty toll and increase the supply of soylent green thereby easing the foodstuff crisis currently facing the government. No such crisis is facing Iran further raising questions as to whether the Bush has his countries right.
Iran Developing Nucular Weapons
According to other high level sources in the administration, Iran is continuing development of both nuclear and nucular weapons. The former can be used as weapons of mass destruction. The latter, as the Bush likes to discuss, can be used in biology experiments. The CIA has been directed to expend a countless amount of effort looking for and destroying the later because of the Bush's speech impediment. According to the IAEA, they have asked that any invasion of Iran be put off until the inspectors can do their work looking for and accounting for the former.
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Comments
Clearly good communication is vital to a successful presidency. However, progress is also imperative. Initially, an invasion based on misspellings might sound like bad politics but clearly we have a president who understands progress. This is a far better method then the Weegie Board. If you’ve been watching this presidency you know the types of decisions that have been made with Egg Nogg and a Weegie Board. I mean common, as if we are thinking about Iraq, Ira Hays or any other country, this is about the American people and their safety. This American is safer without Weegie Boards making decisions! I say Go Bushy!
Posted by: Matt | December 4, 2006 10:53 AM