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November 19, 2006

Democrats Seize Power; Republicans Sent to Camps

Republicans Sent to Camps
 
Last Republican Hopes for Mid Term Survival Dashed -- Sent to Camps
    In a stuning repudiation of their governance and imperial behavior, the Republicans were handed their heads on a platter in a resounded defeat that was heard around the world -- from Phoenix to Tucson. Immediately, the remaining soldiers were rounded up and sent to camps such as Camp David where overflow conditions were noted.
    "We're just not staffed for these conditions," said Navy Rear Admiral John Chessmate. "Normally, we're a Presidential retreat. Sometimes we have advances here such as with Clinton but with Reagan and the Bushes, mostly retreats. We don't even have heating for all these people. I don't know what we are going to do," he continued.
    "Right now , we're making do with the fireplaces in the tents but that is not safe. We could use the old ovens from the bakery that was here but that will have to be discussed with the Democratic leadership and right now they're not say what to do with them. It is a real problem what to do with them all. We're just numbering and ID'ing them for now," he said.
 
Continued below... 

Ovens Left Over From Bakery
    Up until 1967, there was an Enteman's Bakery facility on the property. It had large ovens used for baking bread and bakery items. The facility served most of the mid-Atlantic region. During one Democratic controlled congressional session, the presence of the bakery on federal property was thought unseemly and it was asked to leave. However, the large ovens were left behind and intact. They have been maintained by the staff ever since for occassions such as this.

Ovens are Safe and Effective
    "We could fire up the ovens here at Camp David and pretty much take care of the problem we're having with the Republicans. We can't continue to let them use the fireplaces in the tents for much longer; that's a fire just waiting to happen. They'd all die. We also don't have campfires big enough to handle all of them; that's just not realistic. I think the ovens are the only way to safely handle such a mass of people. It's been used successfully before you know," he said.

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November 19, 2006

Aliens Deny Getting Messages From Whitehouse or CIA

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Aliens Laugh at BushAliens Deny Getting Messages From Bush or CIA
     Alien spokesperson Rod Serling vociferously denied charges yesterday that they were receiving coded messages from the Whitehouse and the Catholic Intelligence Agency (CIa) via Walk/Don't Walk signs scattererd across the country. Speaking at a Star Trek convention in Tampa Beach, Florida,
    Mr. Serling appeared surprised at the charges and said that they were preposterous. He said that the Bush administration and the Catholic Intelligence Agency were the last two groups Aliens would turn to for "intelligence". "After all," he said, "look at what a fuck up they made of Iraq and the Missing Children of Biafra. I mean invading the wrong country and then outsourcing intelligence to a 'faith based organization'. You call that intelligence?" he added.

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