November 2007

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Pope Out Ratzinger In

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Ratzo Takes Over
 
    Pope Benedict XVI was thrown out of the 'Popeship' by the house of Cardinals today after he refused to retract his conciliatory language towards members of the Muslim faith. The Cardinals, all of whom wear red yarmalkes, immediately installed Joseph Alois Ratzinger, a Nazi, of Marktl am Inn, Bavaria, Germany as his successor. Ratzinger is known as a Nazi hard liner often castigating Jews, gays and Muslims as inferior beings who worship false gods.

Ratzinger Tough on Muslims, Gays, and Jews
   Unllike Pope Benedict XVI, Ratzinger has recently been heard to say that "Islam is an inferior religion and that Muslims will go to purgatory not heaven." This strident speech was denounced by Muslims across the world who had counted on going to heaven and getting 96 virgins.

White Catholics are morally superior
    Ratzinger, a Nazi, has emphasized what he sees as a need for Europe to return to fundamental Christian values in response to increasing de-Christianisation and secularisation in many developed countries. He has denounced gays as sinners and Jews as worshiping false gods. Ratzinger sees no place in placating the 'inferior' comforted in the thought that he will not need to share space in heaven with such heretics and heathens. "White Catholics are morally superior and will inherit heaven. The gays, Jews and muslim will be damned to hell for their ways," he said.

Pope is Relatively Infallible Most of Time
    For this reason, he has identified relativism's denial of objective truth - and more particularly, the denial of moral truths - as the central problem of the 21st century. He has taught about the importance for the Catholic Church and for humanity of contemplating God's salvific love and has reaffirmed the "importance of prayer in the face of the activism and the growing secularism of many Christians engaged in charitable work." In short, he's the perfect nut case to lead the Catholic Church into the eternal abyss that awaits those who deprecate others. The Cardinals, who always wear red yarmalkes, speaking through a spokesman, are said to be pleased.

Copyright Paradocs Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved.


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