New York City Outlaws Barbeques
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Residents Set Apartment Complex on Fire
Mayor Michael Bloomberg immediately ordered the elimination of all barbeques from the city yesterday after residents set a high rise apartment building on fire while trying to light a Weber Grill. At approximately 2PM yesterday, Cory Lidle and his life partner accidently set the 56 story apartment building on fire after attempting to light the grill with a drone single engine plane crashing into their apartment. They denied vociferously that this was a stunt for "Jackass 3" the movie.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg immediately ordered the elimination of all barbeques from the city yesterday after residents set a high rise apartment building on fire while trying to light a Weber Grill. At approximately 2PM yesterday, Cory Lidle and his life partner accidently set the 56 story apartment building on fire after attempting to light the grill with a drone single engine plane crashing into their apartment. They denied vociferously that this was a stunt for "Jackass 3" the movie.
Rich White People Stunned
Westside residents, many of whom live in gratuitously expensive high rise apartments themselves were stunned that this could happen in their neighborhood. "We have strict association rules that prevent these stupid barbeques. They shouldn't have been doing it," said an elderly white woman. In their defense, Lidle and his partner countered that they had to resort to this technique because they did not have a balcony. "It's either give us a balcony or we'll do it again," he said.
Continued below...
This is Against The Rules
Mrs. Randall H. DuPont the 5th, speaking on behalf of the other tenants in the building said, "I don't care who they think they are, they shouldn't be doing it. We have strong association rules against this and I intend to take it up with the board next month."
Mrs. Randall H. DuPont the 5th, speaking on behalf of the other tenants in the building said, "I don't care who they think they are, they shouldn't be doing it. We have strong association rules against this and I intend to take it up with the board next month."
Poochey in There
In the meantime others expressed relief and gratitude. "When I first saw that plane striking the building I thought 'Oh my God, here we go again and my Poochey is in there.' I really worried. I was just sick. I thought I would need an colonic. Fortunately he was safe," remarked H. Thurston Montgomery-Howell the III. "Poochey is my best friend. He is a toy poodle you know?"
In the meantime others expressed relief and gratitude. "When I first saw that plane striking the building I thought 'Oh my God, here we go again and my Poochey is in there.' I really worried. I was just sick. I thought I would need an colonic. Fortunately he was safe," remarked H. Thurston Montgomery-Howell the III. "Poochey is my best friend. He is a toy poodle you know?"
Who Gives a Rat's Ass?
Others were more sanguine. "Who gives a rat's ass? I mean if two gay guys want to have a barbeque and they invite a plane over to get the party started, who cares? I'll just chalk it up to one more crazy thing I've seen outside the Bronx zoo," said Walter McChester Shiley of McGrevey, McGravey, McRibs and Shiley.
Others were more sanguine. "Who gives a rat's ass? I mean if two gay guys want to have a barbeque and they invite a plane over to get the party started, who cares? I'll just chalk it up to one more crazy thing I've seen outside the Bronx zoo," said Walter McChester Shiley of McGrevey, McGravey, McRibs and Shiley.
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