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Zarqawi Killed: Al Queda in Iraq in Disarray Says Bush

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Al Queda in Iraq in Disarray
Al Queda in Iraq is in Disarray

    Hot on the heals of the killing of Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, President Bush announced that "we got 'em on the run. They're confused. We're goin' to round 'em up and stamp them out once and for all. With Zarqawi dead we're really going to make progress."

New Offensive Will Win the War
    The adminstration said that a new joint offensive between Iraqi and US troops called Operation Victory was launched today. Presidential spokesperson and former Foxx anchorman Tawny Snow said that this latest push by our troops was designed to win the war. Continued below...

Foxx Will Get Exclusive Coverage
    In  a more controversial move, the administration said that from now on Foxx News will be the exclusive source for all news on the war. This includes all video streams as well as all press reports. "We decided that we needed someone who was 'fair and balanced' to present a view of the War," said Tawny Snow, the presidential spokesperson and former Foxx News anchor.

Foxx Not Biased
    "We're tired of all that left-winged, doom-sayer, negative reporting of the New York Times, Washington Post and the LA Times. We needed someone to continually remind the people of the progress being made in Iraq, the President's vision for victory, and the need to stay the course," he said.

More Deaths and Chaos in Iraq
     Tawny Snow acknowledged this week that the 2,500th US soldier had died in Iraq including 323 coalition forces to date this year. "Last year there were 715 for the whole year. At this rate we'll be on target for the same number of total annual deaths as the last 4 years. The monthly rate has not changed since March of 2003 but there are more troops there now. So percentage wise this is an improvement," he said.

Progress Not Reported
    "You see this is the stuff you never see in the liberal biased press. We're making progress, " he added. The New York Times reported that 9,989 US soldiers have been wounded and returned to duty in Iraq and another 8,501 soldiers were wounded and sent home.

Marines Held in Haditha Killings
    He also announced that twelve marines were being held on suspicion of various charges in relation to the killings in Haditha in November, 2005. The Pentagon has completed its investigation and will release a redacted report to the press soon. He also reported that several Marines were being held in connection with a separate killing in Iraq of a civilian. He confirmed that murder charges may be pressed. The Pentagon released a report stating the military interogators may have crossed the line in using forbidden interogation techniques in 2004.

More Iraqi Civilians Killed
     According to reports, 38,784 civilians have been killed in car bombings and other terrorist attacks since the war started. This includes the 103 civilians killed in attacks in the two days since President Bush announced Operation Victory.

Copyright Paradocs Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved.


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